Category: Adultshortlisted
Control
Control (Adult M/f point of view switching exercise)
"I don't understand... I'm a grown woman-" But before I could finish my
sentence I was toppled over. I felt his open palm on my butt. My baby
blue panties felt like paper. A volley of slaps fell and all my
attention was on my bottom.
*
She'd better understand. Her hipbone dug into my thigh. Her butt firm
and white seeping out from beneath her panties. I remembered her
high-heeled legs high in the air while I pounded my sex inside her,
ankles around my neck. She had promised me her self; to obey me
unconditionally. "Anything" I had asked. "Anything" she had answered
*
The tug-o-war over the remote, pouting her lips resolutely "No more TV"
"Give me the remote"
She tempted; her finger over the button... waiting for him to stop her.
His voice was serious.
"Give it to me, or you'll regret it"
She laughed and pressed the button. The TV clicked off.
"I won, I have the remote" It was over. He grabbed it from her hands and
soon she was examining the hard wood floor.
"Yes, but I have the control."
*
She wants me to do this. Shes testing me, seeing if I'm serious. I am
serious. I brought my hand down again and again. Her white skin was
starting to blush under my palm. I pulled her panties to her knees. She
kicked and writhed. I quickened my pace... "Not on the bare" she moaned
"It hurts" Was I brave enough to make her cry.
*
My ass was on fire, it felt like sunburn. Again and again he hit my
bouncing cheeks. There was no pattern, no loving caresses; Just rapid
fire on one cheek, and then a long hard slap across the other. All I
could see was red. "I would have given you the damn remote" I heard
myself saying. Still sassy.
*
"It's not about the remote, is it darling?" I continued with new vigor
on her already maroon cheeks. "Please stop!" "I don't think you've
gotten it yet." Her skin was starting to rise; so red. She broke down.
The tears came. Her legs stopped kicking. She dug her hands under the
cushion of the couch..." I should have obeyed you... I love you... I
broke my promise... I'm so sorry...." She said it more to herself then
to me.
*
The pain, stinging... oh god it hurts... I turned my head and managed to
see his eyes... they looked sad... I broke my promise... I'm so
sorry.... I wept into the cushion. The pain in my heart burned much
deeper then my ass.
*
Then he stopped. He helped her up off his knees and kissed her. He held
her to him. She kissed him back. "I'm so sorry I disobeyed you. I
promise to be a good girl"
"Now let me see if you understand me" He patted her well-spanked ass,
and she flinched. He looked into her eyes and knew she understood.
Trisha Allen email
What a great entry! I loved this so much. The Remote Control these days are a constant arguments among couples, however, this summed up the situation quite well. I loved the dialog, the descriptions, details, and especially the switching back and forth. This gave us a chance to see what both couples were thinking and switch back and forth smoothly. Truly a great writer! Please keep up the great work!
Trisha Allen
Hal email
I totally enjoyed this story. There were no problems seeing the picture that the writer painted with their words. I find it hard to believe that they were able to get all of this into just five-hundred words. The end of this story told the complete story. He could tell by looking in her eyes. He didn't need words. I sure hope this writer continues to write for us. Good job!
SirHal
Angie email
Very nice job with this one. I love stories that switch the POV -- as long as it's done well so there's no confusion about who the current speaker is. This story definitely achieved that. I love that in 500 words you were able to get the entire scene in, as well as some exposition. That's a testament to your ability to economize your words while still keeping the story powerful and achieving your desired effect.