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Category: Adultshortlisted

The Shopping Trip

William Johnson

My first entry in the Short Story Competition 2004:

SSC     The Shopping Trip     (Adult )

 
"Do stop moaning David.  We have not been here that long really."

"But we have been shopping forever."

"We won't be much longer.  Just try to be good."

Just then, in front of us, a young mother gave her son a hard smack on
his bottom.  "I told you, if I get to three you will get a smack.  Once
more and you will get a good spanking when we get home. Do you
understand?"

"See David, that's what happens when you moan."

Silence.

We carried on walking whilst she gazed in to the windows.

A few minutes later "Are you finished yet?"

She put her face close to mine, looking me straight in the eye, and
said sharply "David, this is the last time I will tell you.  One more
whine and I will take you home and thrash you."

Silence again.

Not long afterwards I could not help myself.  "I need a drink."

She was now furious, but at least did not shout and scream like some of
the others often did. She said in a stern but lowered voice "Right.  We
are going home now, and when we get there you and I are going to have a
good long talk."

With that she ushered me back to the car.  All the way home she
lectured me about my behaviour.  When we got home she said "Go to the
dining room."  I knew I had this coming.  I did as she said.

She followed me in to the room, pulled out a chair, sat down, and said
"Come here, and don't make me come and get you"

I went over to her and did not struggle as she took down my trousers
and pants, took my arm, and pulled me over her knee.

"Now we are going to have that long chat.  I will not have it David. 
You will not keep moaning like you do.  I am going to thrash that out
of you."

She then proceeded to spank me very hard. 

After a while she stopped, and then lectured me about how I must learn
to behave and not keep whining. Then she started to spank me again.

After a long time she let me get up.

"Stand in front of me with your hands on your head, you naughty boy."

I got up.  I wanted to rub my bottom but knew that would lead to a
further spanking.

"Now, do you promise not to be naughty again?"

"Yes."

"And do you accept that if you moan again then you will be spanked
again?"

"Yes."

"OK then. Now, give me a kiss, and tell me you love me."

"Darling I do love you, but I would much rather be on the golf course
than follow you around the shops."

She looked at me with a wicked smile, and said "I know David, but this
way I get to scold and spank you, don't I, you naughty husband?"

Eric

Any parent who has shepherded a reluctant youngster through a shopping arcade will appreciate 'The Shopping Trip'. It's author has skilfully translated this trauma into a very adult situation. Even though the female character justifies the shopping trip as an excuse to scold and spank a "naughty husband", one suspects that this is really about two loving adults spending time together.

Polara

A resounding welcome for this first entry. I liked the emphasis on dialog, and especially the affectionate and humorous ending. It came as no surprise to me that the narrator turned out to be a grown man shopping with his wife, both because of the category and because of his mature, unemotional tone at the beginning of the story. Surprise or not, it was enjoyable reading.

Tami

A cute little domestic relationship. Very straight and to the point. A good effort, well told conversation. Nice Job.

Tami