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Category: Child

My Choice

Haley Brimley

*** This story is intended for the "Child" category of the 2004 SSC.
Usual disclaimers apply. ***

                             "MY CHOICE"

                            by Haley Brimley


"She's merely three feet and we get on like a house on fire. She wakes
me up dancing on the bed and she never starts the day without some
cuddling. I take her to school at seven... I know it's early. I don't
have a choice, I need to be at the factory at seven thirty. Her
friend's mother comes to pick her up and she has lunch there. They
don't mind, they're good people and understand that a single father
needs all the help he can get. I don't know why she did what she did.
She's usually such a precious... never a fight, never an argument. Yeah
you're right, she may be just growing up. I don't know. It still scares
me that she took that money. Oh no, she knows we're poor and she seems
okay with it. When she's older and will want preppy clothes, well, I'll
be in trouble then. But she never shows greed towards other kids'
things. If she does, I didn't notice. Yeah it's possible that I didn't
notice after all. We're together one hour in the afternoon and that's
all, when I get off work and before I go to school. I'm trying to talk
the dean into letting me off some classes, but how many undergraduates
study at home? But at least I'd be with her... How can you say it's not
my fault? It' s all my fault. Everything here is my fault! Yes...
you're right... her mother shouldn't have dropped her on my doorstep. I
don't blame her though. Most kids aren't that stupid, but we were. She
just couldn't face it and that's okay, and... well, I *have* to face
it. But it's not a burden. I mean, look in my daughter's eyes. She's
absolute perfection. Yeah then she shouldn't have stolen, I know. What?
Miss Warren, are you kidding? I never hit her."

"There are times when a father needs to be stern. I'm against spanking
too, but even just once, when she's still little... It's not between
you and her, it's between her and life. You need to place a limit that
she'll respect, and not just for fear of punishment. It's your duty as
a father and hers as a daughter."

"I guess that makes sense. But I... she... She'll hate me."

"I've seen her a minute ago, and what I've seen is a little girl who's
scared to have disappointed you and ashamed of herself. Now it's up to
you."

"I guess. I want to take her home, now."

"I'll let her in."

"Aww... don't cry, honey. C'm here."

"I'm so sorry, daddy!"

"I know baby. Let's go home now, daddy needs to have a talk with you."

Somehow she knew what that meant.


           -- THE END -- 



Summer Short-Story Contest 2004 category: Child
Word count: 463

Also at: http://www.geocities.com/haleys_stories/

Footnotes: Curious how I'm basically an adult/child author but only
submitted stories in other SSC categories so far... hmm. Well, there were
kids there too and that hardly matters anyway and I'll shut up now, hehe.
Hope you enjoyed.

Joni

I like the conversational style of this story very much. I think it's a good way to go when trying to get down to 500 words or less -- cuts down on the scene setting, but leaves the important details in. The discussion lets us know enough to be interested, and not enough to have a particular mindset about characters or place. Thanks for sharing this story.

J*ni

Tami

An enchanting tale about the relationship between a father and a daughter, what could be more charming. Told is almost complete dialogue, very difficult feat in it's own right.

The writer express the father's frustration very well, but also his acceptance for change.

It would be nice to read the sequel.

Tami

Alex Birch

This is a beautiful story. The almost frantically rambling dialogue from poor dad, shocked by his kid's lapse, is very credible, his sense of guilt and 'have I been blind all this time?' so pertinent in a situation where a child behaves out of character. It has something of a 1950's feel about it when advice on parental spankings seemed normal and no one tied themselves in politically correct knots over it. The loving relationship between dad and daughter was established in very few words and the whole story was a delight to read.