I backed up, my body trembling. "Don't. Don't hurt me," I whispered.
Afraid to protest any louder, scared rape might turn into murder if I
fought.

"Where do ya think you're goin'?" he said, grinning. "No way out of
here."

I froze. "Please..."

"Please..." he mimicked. "Please what? Bad girl like you...dressed like
that. You must've been wanting this." He grabbed my wrist and yanked me
to him roughly.

It hurt and I cried out. I was scared now; walking alone at night,
dressed in naughty clothes ...it didn't seem fun anymore. It was
stupid; I was stupid.

"Yeah, you want this," he said. He grabbed my hair at the nape of my
neck and jerked my head back so that I was staring into his eyes. They
glittered dangerously "Bad girl," he crooned. "You should be punished.
You deserve to be fucked."

My mouth was cotton dry, but my eyes were leaking. I couldn't pull my
eyes away. My fantasies had gone horribly horribly wrong; I couldn't
even say I hadn't asked for it. On the streets at night, panties wet,
thinking about being whipped, then taken by force, I hadn't actually
expected it to happen. It was a make-believe game.

But make believe wasn't supposed to hurt! He spun me around and pressed
my face to the cracked brick wall of the alley. My cheek scraped
painfully and I whimpered. He kicked my legs apart and thrust his hand
between them to find dampness.

"You like this!" he crowed incredulously. It obviously excited him.

"No, no please! It was from before," I explained desperately. It was
the truth; the reality of the situation had dried up my arousal and
replaced it with fear, but it had left behind its evidence and he
didn't believe me.

"Yeah right," he laughed. "You like it rough, don't you?" he demanded.
"Bet you think about getting yer ass beat all the time. Don't you?"

"Noooo," I moaned, but THAT was a lie and he knew it.

"Bad girl! Slut and liar too," he hissed. He kept his hand fisted in my
hair and with his other hand I heard the sound of his belt. He tugged
it through the loops of his jeans and snapped it in the air next to me.
I couldn't see, but I could hear. Please, not like this; I screamed
soundlessly as he grabbed the collar of my shirt and ripped downward.
My skirt was too thick to rip, but he held me pinned and somehow took
it off of me.

Then came the searing pain of the belt. It hit everywhere, burning my
back and ass with flaming stripes; I screamed and screamed. He finally
ripped off my panties and stuffed them into my mouth to shut me up.
They tasted like me, and I cried bitterly at their betrayal.

I wondered if he thought I'd liked it; if he'd realized the truth when
he forced himself inside my dry tunnel. I'd never known how horrible
rape was; my fantasies were destroyed and I'd never be clean again.