*** This story is intended for the "First/Last" category of the 2004
SSC. All rights reserved blah blah blah, constructive criticism
appreciated blah blah blah, the author is totally against spanking of
real kids blah blah blah... Alright, I'll shut up! ***



  "I WAS A TEENAGE US PRESIDENT" (SSC 2004 -- humour, M+F+/f)

  by Haley Brimley


Alexis Kane, President of the United States of America, had recently
celebrated her sixteenth birthday. She entered the Congress Hall and
walked to her stand. She cleared her throat before speaking:

"Congresswomen and Congressmen, good morning."

"President Kane," said Vice-President Konstantin. "The Congress has
ruled against you."

Alexis gulped and looked at her feet, her stomach tying in knots.

"An impeachment procedure is underway," Senator Palmer explained.
"Unless, of course, you choose the alternative."

Everyone in the room looked at the girl, who swallowed hard, her
shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

"I..." she started in a squeaky voice and looked at her mother. Mrs.
Kane shrugged. "I... I choose the Presidential Imp-Preachment, then."

The Congress Hall roared with applause. Alexis was lifted off her feet
and bent over the back of a chair, her bottom sticking right out.
Experienced hands lifted her dress and lowered her underwear. Her wrists
and ankles were restrained to the chair rungs, leaving her motionless
and defenceless.

The chair was brought to the very end of the Hall as the Senators formed
a queue. A grinning bailiff handed Vice-President Konstantin a large
leather strap, twenty inches long, two wide and 1/4 thick. The man took
off his jacket, loosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves.

Suddenly the room was silent. Alexiss sniffling and the cameras rolling
were the only audible sounds. "President Alexis Elizabeth Kane. I hereby
start the first Imp-Preachment procedure in the history of this mighty
nation. You will receive 521 lashes of the strap. You are to say God
Bless America! Please, one more! after each. Are the rules clear to you,
Miss President?"

"Ooh... y-yes... go ahead, Mr. Konstantin."

"Thank you, Miss President."

CRACK!!

"Owwwwwwww! God Bless America! Please, one more!"

The strap was passed to Senator Palmer, who applied a fierce swat to
Alexiss reddening backside. Democrat Torrance was next ("Aieee!"), then
Republicans Cox and Allenby followed ("Owieieieie!"). One by one, the
Senators filed behind the teenager, who was sobbing by the twentieth
lash. Unfortunately for her, many more were to follow, and by the time
Senator Santini applied his blow, President Kanes backside was a swollen
mess of purplish welts and bruises.

The stripes were there. The stars, well, she was seeing those.

Finally, Vice-President Konstantin took the strap and prepared to apply
the final twenty. He did so, and, making sure his voice was clear for
the cameras, he scolded: "Will <SMACK> you <SMACK> ever <CRACK> declare
war <SPANK> on Iraq <WHACK> again, Miss President?"

"Nooooooo! Bwaaaah!" cried Alexis Kane.

"Will <CRACK> you ever <SMACK> let the economy <CRACK> drop <CRACK>
again, <SPLAT> Miss President?"

"Noooooooooooooo!!!"

"Very well then!"

The strap was dropped and the room roared with applause. A sweaty Mr.
Konstantin approached Mrs. Kane, who was sitting on a chair a few feet
away.

"Congratulations, Mr. Konstantin. Your patriotism exceeds even your
strapping abilities."

"Why, thank you maam. Sure you dont want to?... The Imp-Preachment can
be prolonged, and youre the mother after all..."

"Oh no, thanks, Mr. Konstantin," Mrs. Kane smiled. "I like to watch."

  -- THE END --



Summer Short-Story Contest 2004 category: First/Last Word count: 511
(NO, those 11 couldn't go... hehe)

Also at: http://www.geocities.com/haleys_stories/

Footnotes: *this space available for commercial use* :-P