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Category: Mini-saga

Lament So Dear

Courtney 

SSC: 'Lament So Dear' 
by Courtney 
copyright: Courtney 2004 
category: Mini saga 
word count: 43 
******* 

Once upon a midnight drear 
Alas, my naughtiness became very clear. 

Scolded sharp, I do shed no tear 
Till fiery heat enflames my rear. 

...Leaving behind every childish year, 
My bottom still burns with righteous fear: 

Abandon hope all ye who trespass here! 
******* 
end

Eric

'Lament So Dear' reminds me of the mentally-extending game 'rhyming couplets'. This reviewer never even attempted a rhyming singlet, but he has great admiration for those who do venture into rhyme and poetry. 'Lament So Dear' is a promising beginning and its author deserves encouragement.

Angie

I'm going to give props on the rhyming -- I'm a big fan of fetish poetry. I found that I wasn't really following what exactly was going on -- I mean, I can see there was a spanking, but there were a couple of lines that I wasn't really understanding (leaving behind every childish year, for example). I like the bottom on fire imagery. I'd almost like to see this one done in a longer format where the author has more of a chance to expound on the topic because I think it's a good start!

Polara

Though as pastiche your verses gain a cheer,
They lack consistent beat or scansion, dear.
Before you "Poet" name as your career,
A well-read Top with cane and cheerful leer
Should educate your literary ear
By meting out the metre on your rear.