A A A

Category: Mini-sagashortlisted

Five Mistakes

Joe Whatever 

FIVE MISTAKES (MINI-SAGA) (M/F)

As the blistering spanks rained down Sara realized her mistakes:

1) Being 25 and petite
2) Shaving
3) Losing her locker key
4) Calling the lifeguard a "lessie bitch" when she had ripped off Sara's
towel to "determine her age"
5) Buying her "friend" Terri that horrible camera phone!

Alex Birch

This is quite a clever use of the 50 word limit which outlines a sequence of events which culminated in a spanking. The writer has, in a very tight confinement, given all the necessary ingredients, clear to the reader, which has condemned Sara to her fate. Well done.

Haley Brimley

LOL! Isn't that precious. It tells a whole story-behind-the-story with a few to-the-point words. Not sure which of the 5 mistakes is more enjoyable... or a worse mistake on Sara's end... but the overall result is really cute.

Thanks!

Haley

Pablo

Constructing the story as a list is a wonderfully ingenious way to make efficient use of the seriously limited space in a mini-saga. It encourages compression, and it also allows the story to be revealed in small bursts, like frames in a slapstick cartoon. We're invited to visualise each moment, before moving on to the next. And the final line encapsulates the protagonist's frustration and humiliation perfectly. Lots of fun. (Pablo)