SSC2007-11: Dismissal Time (M/t, spank, stick)
[Beginnings] [501 words]

This story is fiction and deals with school discipline. If such a subject is offensive, uninteresting or if you are a minor (i.e., child) please leave now. The first sentence is one of the SSC bginnings lines.

This work is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice.

The author would appreciate your comments -- pro and con, including constructive criticism, and suggestions.

Dismissal Time
by
Y Lee Coyote

The clock struck three. Everyone in town heard it. Everyone in the school heard it. Everyone in Mr. Crane's class heard it. Nineteen students stopped what they were doing even in midsentence putting their pens down, closing their books, putting things into their satchels and waiting for the best word of the day from Mr. Crane. "Dismissed." Eighteen students jumped and dashed for the door -- free until eight the next morning.

Miguel Mendoza remained seated with his books and things in his satchel by his seat. His eyes staring at the initials carved into the old wood desk. He waited. Mr. Crane always made him wait. Whenever he glanced up, he could see Mr. Crane at his high desk marking papers. Miguel knew he would have to wait. He wished that he had remembered to pee at recess but he had forgotten to do so. The urgency in his crotch made waiting worse. Mr. Crane turned over the last paper and put the stack into his desk. He put his pen down. It was only then that he paid any attention to the boy still sitting nervously at his desk.

"Mendoza come here." Miguel jumped up and stood before the teacher's desk. His head was bowed. His hands were behind his back. He knew what was about to happen. He really did not hear what Mr. Crane said to him. It did not matter for it was always the same words. "... extremely bad boy ... must ... punished ... six ..." and finally the action ones: "Trousers down and bend over, _boy_." Miguel unhooked the strap of his bib overalls. The overalls fell to the floor. He was not wearing underpants. He bent over and placed his hands on the edge of the teacher's platform. He remained silent.

Mr. Crane took the stick from the wall and stepped over to the waiting boy. He carefully got into position. Miguel gripped the edge tightly. Mr. Crane raised the stick and brought it down hard on the target. It left an angry line. Miguel bit his lip to keep from yelling. The second cut was even worse. Crane was sloppy and it crossed the first. Cuts three and four were higher. Cut five below the first two. The sixth was the worst for it sliced directly in the crease. Miguel yelped in pain. Crane smiled sadistically.

Mr. Crane returned to his desk. "Dismissed." Miguel pulled up his overalls and hooked the strap. He picked up his satchel and left, silently.

His little brother was waiting for him. "Don't tell Dad; he'll beat me again."

"It sounded extra hard today. Crane picks on you."

"Yes, it was. He does not like us."

"Why?"

"Because he does not. Hurry, Marco, we must not be late getting home."

In the barn, Miguel again dropped his overalls to allow Marco to rub some salve into the cruel marks. The young one had to fight back the tears; he wanted to be as brave as his big brother. They started their chores.

The End

© Copyright A.I.L. August 13, 2007

A well-written slice of life story.  It left me wondering what happened later and wanting to know more about Miguel.  Very creative use of the beginning line.

This is a school caning story, but with lots of attention to detail. Each stroke is vividly described as is the boy's reaction to the pain. There is a great deal of realism in the story and you can get a pretty accurate idea of how a boy in that situation would feel.

There was little in the way of background on the story, it felt like stumbling onto a page in the middle of the story. But as many of us spankos know, it's not unusual to flip through a book looking just for a spanking scene so that doesn't really affect the enjoyment of the piece, even though the beginning and the ending of the piece are rather abrupt.

This dark story has a sort of gripping suddenness to its action. Although the anticipation of the punishment scene builds, the reader's lack of understanding of the "why" behind the child's beating keeps the story feeling tense and reader off balance. In the end, the punishment is revealed to be unfair with the reason implied only by the boy's clear outsider status -- caused either his latino name as oppose to his teacher's Anglo one, or the poverty / class separation hinted at by his overalls and and missing underwear.

Very nicely constructed with a good use of the first line, though last 2/3s of the story have smoother writing than the first 1/3.

I'd like to see this told in first person. The effect of the story as written is *almost* first person, but the additional insight into the boy's feelings would make things resonate even further. The choice not to explain what the boy is being punished for this time is a very good one; it merely enhances the impression of this as a ritual both of them know very well. It no longer matters what it's for. That having been said, the suggestion that there's an underlying racism going on - 'Crane' is anglo, 'Miguel Mendoza' clearly not - is a nice way to hint at a wider context. The boys are both aware of it, and yet shrug it off as just the way things are.