SSC2007-12: RUN! (M/mm, spank, tawse) [Beginnings] [488 words]

This story is fiction and deals with a police tawsing of minors. If such a subject is offensive, uninteresting or if you are a minor (i.e., child) please leave now. The first sentence is one of the SSC beginnings lines.

This work is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice.

The author would appreciate your comments -- pro and con, including constructive criticism, and suggestions. E-mail: YLeeCoyote@mail.com

RUN!
by
Y Lee Coyote

"RUN!" I shouted as soon as I saw them.

We both ran as fast as we could down the alley. They couldn't drive the fuzzmobile after us because the alley was full of junk and had a couple of turns. We would be home free as soon as we got through because we could get lost in the park across the street. What we did not know about was the trash pickup. The truck had nosed into the alley and was picking up an overfilled dumpster. It was raining construction debris and we had to stop.

It really was not our night for it wasn't the old cop who could play Santa without a pillow, but the rookie. He had been in Special Forces and was in top shape. "Come here, boys." he commanded.

We did. We knew he could break us in two just by knocking us about. "Good evening, Officer." we said playing innocent. He laughed and snapped handcuffs on our right wrists. He held the middle and led us out to his cruiser. We were very scared as he put us in the back and closed the door. There were iron grills over the windows and no door handles. It was like being in a cell. We were scared shitless.

We sat on the bench in the station for many long draggy hours. Every time we looked about, the desk sergeant barked at us to look straight ahead. The clock behind him hardly moved. Next to the clock hung a strange item with a wooden handle and a leather strap. Eventually they spoke to us. We had been caught on the security cameras and they had found the swag in the alley. They had us. Our lives were over. At sixteen they would send us to the reformatory and that meant we would not graduate high school. We had screwed up -- royally.

We heard the sergeant and rookie talking. "When I was starting out, we used that on first offenders." while pointing to the thing on the wall. We looked at each other and wondered if there was an alternative to the reformatory. They made us the offer. We took it -- it had to be better than the other.

They removed the cuffs and told us to strip right there in front police station. Then we had to bend over the railing. We weren't comfortable. The sergeant gave the rookie the tawse. "Twenty should convince them of the errors of their ways." he said with a chuckle.

We both yelled for each and every cut of the tawse that landed on our asses. We were bawling before it was half over. Our tails were flaming red hot.

Still naked and crying, our fathers dragged us out to the car and took us home. They had watched the whole thing. In the morning we got lectured and were grounded forever.

We couldn't sit right for weeks.

The End

© Copyright A.I.L. August 27, 2007

I think I liked the concept of the chase at the beginning better than the main thrust of the story where police officers thrash naked young boys but, if this kind of thing is your bag, then you will enjoy it I guess.  I seem to have read the same plot many times before and it doesn't improve with age. OK for the M/m fans

This story was related in a rather terse, matter-of-fact, almost reportorial style which made it read more like a newspaper account than a story.  Still it had all the essential elements of a good spanking story.

I love this opening line because it conveys such energy and enthusiasm, snapping the reader's attention immediately into focus.  The story lost some of that momentum for me in the wordiness of the first paragraph.  I think the author used a couple of exceptional details: "the old cop who could play Santa without a pillow," "the long draggy hours," yet I still wished for more action and less description.  This falls along one of the standard spanking plot lines (a consensual spanking to avoid a worse consequence) and needed a bit more pep to make it stand out.

I felt like I was in a campy episode of Dragnet.  I like the story and idea, but the author keeps us at a distance with his vague descriptions of experiences.  "Then we had to bend over the railing," could be draw us closer if the author wrote something like, "As we bent over the railing, shoulder to shoulder, trembling transmitted through tensed arms."  I keep looking for those hot details, such as an unexpected and embarassing squeal at the first searing bite of leather.

This story has a strong beginning with a great use of the provided quotation.  The chase scene is well written and exciting. Unfortunately the story itself seems to lose energy during the spanking / tawsing itself, becoming more about routine description and less about action. Maybe it would have helped if the story had been framed as a reporter interview.  I also would have liked a stronger emotional connection / feeling to and from the narrator.