Keeping Up With the Neighbors

(c) 2007 by Grace Brackenridge
[499 words]

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This story blends fact and fiction. The author strongly opposes the spanking of real children in real life.
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"Margie, can I come out now?" sniffled Bobby Armstrong from the hallway.

"Of course!" exclaimed his guilty stepmother with a smile.

The 8-year-old plopped down next to Margie on the couch. "Can we talk about that spanking?"

"Remember, Bobby, you caused that spanking by your own behavior."

The boy fell silent, forming his next sentence.

-- -- -- -- --

In truth, Margie spanked her stepson for reasons not entirely the boy's fault.

An animal lover, Margie Armstrong felt angry when Jill Gustafson called to say she caught her visiting nephew, Peter, and Bobby throwing stones at a bird's nest.

But the boys hadn't actually hit the nest.

Meeting under the Gustafson's oak tree for a joint scolding, Margie simply followed Jill's lead when she promised her nephew "a spanking you'll long remember."

Feeling inept and cruel, Margie nevertheless took Bobby to his bedroom and -- for the first time -- spanked her stepson.

Bobby's spanking was Margie's first ever.

She delivered exactly eight smacks to the seat of the boy's jeans.

"Think about why you deserved that," she ordered from the doorway, feeling bad about herself.

The sniffling boy looked back with a most forlorn expression.

-- -- -- -- --

"Margie, I don't know how to say this," said Bobby at last, "but that wasn't a good enough spanking. Before you came over, Peter told me his aunt spanks him pants down with a ping-pong paddle for a whole minute. She looks at a clock."

"How Mrs. Gustafson spanks is none of your concern."

"But Margie," whined Bobby, "I said you spank me exactly the same. Peter said he didn't believe me. He's gonna get his aunt to call and check."

"Well," said Margie helplessly, "what can I do? Don't ask me to lie, Bobby. Lying got you into this fix."

"Well," he sighed, "maybe I could get spanked again? Like Peter this time?"

-- -- -- -- --

'God! Hurry up!' thought Margie, looking at the kitchen clock.

Using an old ping-pong paddle they found in the garage, Margie wasn't spanking Bobby's bare bottom especially hard.

But only 23 seconds into it, her stepson's bottom glowed bright red and his sobs were heartrending...

-- -- -- -- --

"You want what?" asked Jill Gustafson as her sniffling nephew rubbed the seat of his pants.

In her fifth month, with a baby boy growing inside her, the former schoolteacher had turned over a new leaf, vowing never to strike another child.

Yet as she scolded her nephew under the oak, words just spilled out, as if she had never left Texas.

"...a spanking you'll long remember."

Of course, she rationalized, Peter would quickly forget these eight swats on the seat of his pants.

But Jill had broken her vow.

And now this.

"I told Bobby you give pants-downers with a ping-pong paddle. A whole minute by the clock. He didn't believe me. His step-mom is gonna call to check. So please, Aunt Jill?"

Jill had already broken her vow...

She sighed...

Jill took off her watch, declaring, "Bring me a paddle from the table out on the patio."

This is a wonderful story and a true case of "Be careful what you wish for". You have a gift for capturing the feelings that all Bottoms have probably had as kids, when they have yet to experience that first "real" spanking. They may think it's what they want, but then they have the same reaction of all spanked kids.

I loved the twist in this story. I wasn't expecting it and had to do a double take. I think you showed very well the exuberance of a young child who is curious about spanking and in turn can manipulate an unsuspecting adult into giving them precisely what they want. Some of us have been on both sides of that equation. Good job!

This story is spare and lean in a way I like. There is a nice twist in the competition of the boys and the uncertainty of the adults.

However, I find some of the paragraphing disjointed. For example, the two paragraphs, "An animal lover . . . " and the one following, "But the boys hadn't actually hit the nest," could be one paragraph alone, or the sentence could be part of the previous one. Putting that sentence in its own paragraph emphasises it in a way that detracts from the story.

Also, I'm not sure why the hint at the school teacher's history is pertinent. Why did she have to turn over a new leaf? Did someone get hurt in Texas? Was there a lawsuit? She didn't seem to fight hard to keep the vow, so why mention it?

Finally, I find the story somewhat dry. I have to wonder what it would feel like to be put across the lap of a five month pregnant woman, the warmth of the egg shaped belly pressing into my side, the sight of her swollen ankles. I wonder what the story could be if that natural eroticism were explored. Certainly it would be a different story, and would deemphasize the tight little "keeping up with the Joneses" package that fit so neatly in under 500 words.

This story has a cute premise and I like the author's gentle tone. The two adult characters are well developed for such a short piece. While the boys Bobby and Peter are less distinct, they are likable. A fun read with a nostalgic feel.

This was a wonderful story. I enjoyed it immensely as it was well written and flowed wonderfully. Not only well written, but it was extremely descriptive as well. Great writing! Would love to read more similar to this one. Thanks for writing it. Keep up the great work!