Ann's Sketchbook (Child)

Mrs. Malrsby was better known as Mrs. Mumbles for the way she taught her class. It was no wonder why my mind wandered in her class. She was droning on about participles or something like that. My fingers guided my pencil over my notebook. When I get bored, I draw.

I was thinking about a couple of nights ago when my older brother came home late. My thoughts flowed from my daydream through my fingers and pencil and onto the paper forming an image of what I saw from my hiding place behind the door that night.

I was just drifting off to sleep when I heard him come in. Mom tried to keep her voice down, but I heard her anyway. "I ought to ground you until the end of the school year." She said. "But mom, I'm only 15 minutes late."

"Put them here!" She said. I couldn't see what was going on, so I crept down the stairs.

"No. Not my car keys, mom!" my brother pleaded.

"You have to be taught to be more responsible. You're acting just like a little boy."

By this time I was down the stairs with one eye peeping from behind the door. I could see my brother standing in front of my mother with his head hung down.

"In fact," she continued, "if you insist on acting like a little boy, then I will treat you like one." She simply pointed to her lap.

I knew what that means when she does it to me. Did she really intend to spank my brother?

"Oh mom, I'm too old for that," he complained.

"It's either this or the car keys, which do you choose?" She tapped her foot impatiently to make her point.

"OK, mom. You win."

Mom just wiggled her finger up and down. "Drop them mister. I am going to blister that butt of yours."

I couldn't believe my eyes (or eye, since I was still not brave enough to stick a full head out). Here was my older brother, and he was getting a bare-bottom spanking from mom!

I was so lost in my thought, that I didn't realize what my fingers had done. There was a sketch of my brother over my mother's lap, butt up in the air and her hand swinging down towards it. There also was a shadow. I looked up and it was Mrs. Mumbles. She grabbed me, pulled me to the front of the class, pulled up my skirt and down my panties. As she prepared to spank me, she said, "You've been a naughty girl and should have been paying attention in class. Instead you're sitting there drawing dirty pictures. Well, you won't be sitting anywhere comfortably now."

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Picture here:
http://www.thebarnyard.net/images/spanking/
Ann/A/00%20ann_spank030_sm.jpg

Never put your thoughts down on paper! That will teach her! A nice little tale of domestic and school discipline. Interesting how the boy valued his car keys over his personal dignity - probably dead right though! It was nicely written, the tale was very enjoyable though it didn't stand out as anything extraordinary, but a fun read.

An effective portrait of embarrassment and well-written. The "doodle" sounds like something that could actually happen to a dyed-in-the-wool kinky kid and makes me wonder if the story wasn't inspired by R/L. The author showed graceful style in the seamless weaving back and forth between the present and "a couple nights ago." The build-up to the last paragraph was silky smooth too.

I like the frame of Ann's reverie surrounding the story of her brother getting spanked; it makes the story distant but sharp at the same time. I also liked that she didn't get caught while watching her mom and brother, but she did eventually get caught for her voyeurism. My only wish is that Mrs. Mumbles' scolding at the end had been more succinct and sharper, more like Mom's dialogue.

Especially in the first few paragraphs, I would have liked to see less use of the word "I" - a tricky maneuver when writing in first-person. My favorite part was seeing the sneaky voyeur caught red-handed after the fact, but misunderstood. After all, she wasn't really drawing dirty pictures, not on purpose anyway. It's a pleasing mix of justice and unfairness, a flavor that I found particularly appealing.

Wow, that's a fear of mine. Someone catching me doing something spanking related. What a great idea to put a situation like that into a story. I also liked the image of a girl lurking behind a door to watch her brother get spanked. That seemed true to life. I also enjoyed the dialogue between the mom and her son. It included hand gestures and everything; great job.

I like the layering of the two incidents. One can almost imagine someone drawing *this* spanking, and being spanked for it, and then someone drawing *that* spanking, and being spanked for it, and so on. Not entirely convinced that the voice is that of a kid, but it's not a big deal. The writing is careful and precise, and conveys the mixture of nervousness and curiosity and enjoyment of the voyeur very nicely.