SSC2007: Day at the Zoo (Mm, spank, tawse) (Child) [490 words]
Summary: The trip to the zoo is cut short because of misbehavior.

This story is fiction and deals with m/m spanking. If such a subject is offensive, uninteresting or if you are a minor (i.e., child) please leave now.

This work is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice.

The author would appreciate your comments -- pro and con, including constructive criticism, and suggestions.

Day at the Zoo
By
Y Lee Coyote

It was a perfect day for the Zoo. The plan was for Dad to take us -- my kid brother, Jeffery (twelve) and me (fourteen) -- for some father/son/male bonding. Mom made all the expected speeches and practically pushed us out the door -- after we all promised to behave properly. It was to be an all-day excursion for we loved the zoo and it was very rare that Dad could take us.

It was but three hours later that we returned. Mom was immediately all questions: anyone sick? Hurt? Zoo closed? And on and on. As soon as she got a "No." there was another question. Finally, she hit on the right one: "Misbehavior?"

"We got ejected for feeding the animals and teasing the monkeys..." I said. "...and a written warning, too."

She turned to Jeffery and gave him 'that look'. "It was not I, Mother." said my brother truthfully.

Mother sighed. She reached into the cupboard and took out the dreaded strap and handed it to me. "Son, go have that man-to-man talk with your dad." I tried to explain but she wouldn't let me say a word. "Now!" What could I do, but to obey? Dad and I went to his bedroom. Mom kept Jeffery from tailing along. Although Mom let us manage "men's business" she made sure that we had the necessary "business meetings". Discipline was definitely men's business.

We all knew the rules. This called for ten cuts on the bare while bent over the chair. There was not anything to discuss. If Mother did not hear the strap on bare butt skin, she would insist that it happen and probably even have Jeffery watch to give a cut by cut report. She fully expected that us men would do what was right and proper.

Dad put the chair in the proper place. Belt and trousers were undone. Trousers and boxers lowered. The miscreant bent over presenting his butt. The strap kissed the target ten times. The usual thanks, forgiveness and hugs were exchanged after fair discipline. We returned to the kitchen and Mom had a snack ready for us. There was a cushion on my chair. Mom is thoughtful about these things.

When I sat down, I shifted the cushion to Dad's chair but not as discretely as I thought. Mom saw and asked exactly what had happened at the zoo. Dad confessed that he had tossed some food into the cages and acted silly for the monkeys. A guard had noticed his repeated transgressions and. ejected us with a warning notice.

Mom lectured him and told him that he should be ashamed of himself for acting like a baby. Dad just stared at his coffee cup, looking contrite while she talked.

Jeffery and I knew enough to keep silent when our parents talked. I just wondered if I would have further opportunities to strap my dad and if this meant he would not strap me anymore.

The End

© Copyright A.I.L. July 17, 2007

This was a fairly routine role reversal story in which there was some attempt to hide the inevitable conclusion but I guessed the ending pretty quickly. I suppose it's difficult to mask these 'surprise endings' when a similar plot has been used countless time already and I commend the suthor on at least trying.

We all have personal aversions, I guess, and one of mine is these small children-spanking-their-parents tales. To some maybe they are cute but to me they are simply unbelievable and slightly naff .

The idea behind this story, that Mom thinks Dad is strapping Son instead of the other way around, is a good one.  It's a fun twist on an otherwise cliched theme.  I was also intrigued by the idea that discipline is "men's business" but Mom is the one handing out the tawse and Mom is the arbiter of how severe the spanking must be.  An interesting way to think about power that is not overt.

However, the execution of the story left something to be desired for me.  I wish that the twist had been left till the end, but instead I understood that Dad was the miscreant from the moment Mom handed Son the tawse.  To heighten the suspense I probably would have taken out that part, because the description of the spanking itself is opaque enough that I would have assumed it was Son being spanked.

This may be a stylistic quibble, but I also got the feeling that you had to cut a lot of words to say what you wanted, so you chose a staccato feeling for certain parts.  Unfortunately, at least for me, it didn't blend very well with the other, longer descriptions.  Why did we need to know the sons' ages, for example?  Even the last paragraph seemed superfluous.

On the whole, some really great ideas that could have been greater with better execution.

This had a very nice twist to it that caught me completely off guard. The writing was done cleverly enough that I was expecting the usual child misbehaves/child punished storyline, but instead I got caught with a "Gotcha!"  Not sure if the ending itself worked for me, but I suspect it's just a matter of preference and will work fine for others.

I should be smart enough by now to see it coming whenever I read a Y.Lee.  He is famous for taking a story into some tricky turns.  But ... especially when an "unnecessary" explanation appears, you'd think I'd clue in:

I tried to explain but she wouldn't let me say a word . . . What could I do, but to obey? ... Discipline was definitely men's business.

It flew right past me.

It's a fun little ride.  :)

I think this story has an interesting dynamic.  It refers often to "male bonding" and  "men's business," but clearly the mother (a woman) runs the show.  She's the one demanding punishment and giving lectures. I appreciate that complexity of character roles.

The author adds an interesting and unexpected twist at the end.  I did not imagine that it was really the father causing the trouble.  An element of surprise like that makes for a good story.  Also, the ending keeps us wondering, will someone be spanking the father?