SSC 2007: Mrs. Norbit, by Tyr

Mrs. Norbit

(Child) Mrs. Norbit by Tyr F/f

Mrs. Norbit stands five foot thirteen in flat shoes, as she likes to say. She always wears high heels. Looking down she smirks, Jennifer makes her approach.

"So what have you done this time?" Mrs. Norbit grins.

Jennifer hands her the slip of paper her mother gave her. 'Messy Room 5.'

The 5 signified five minutes of spanking with Mrs. Norbit's hairbrush and that she owed her an hour of free baby sitting services. This was the tradeoff Mrs. Norbitt made with many of the neighborhood's mothers of teenage daughters. They appreciated the fear and respect her name gave them. Chores got done, rooms kept clean.

Opening her purse she hands the girl her pocket calendar so she can schedule the babysitting. Testing the large oval wood surface of her hairbrush against her hand. Smack. She grimaces, smiling at the effect on Jennifer. Two younger girls outside the window smile knowing what is to transpire. Jennifer's jeans and panties are soon at her feet.

Jennifer takes her small hand in hers, Mrs. Norbit yanks her far over her left knee and twisting so the arm's trapped high on back with her toes off the floor. Her right leg clamps down on the teen's calves. Checking her watch as she begins, the second hand clicks twelve. Swinging hard and fast she covers the pert young bottom all over into a rosy glow.

As the first minute turns into the second the pink turns into red, like a ripening rose. Her petals opening as the heat increases. Norbit smiles at the wetness and her screeching cries. A creature of habit Norbit spends the entire third minute where the thigh meets the bottom. First one side and then the other, faster and faster, like a piston pounding. Jennifer's begging becomes louder, but Norbit can't make out any words, except no. Sweating now from the workout, she enters the fourth minute where longer, harder smacks, hit cheek centers. A few days from now when Jennifer babysits, she'll pull down her jeans and still see bruising there. Bruising below and blushing above. I think I'll do it again in front of my husband.

Accelerating into the fifth minute. The time ends too soon. The fifth is like the third, with every swat down low. Striking longer and harder, Jennifer will not sit comfortably tomorrow. Every swing cracking it's retort against the hot flesh. Five minutes come and go. Red turns purple and later to black and blue. Jennifer has such a pretty bottom for spanking. It colors well. At last Mrs. Norbit rests.

So anticlimatic. After a few minutes she lets the girl rise and walk to place her nose into the corner. Jennifer knows better than to rub or speak. Mrs. Norbit signs the scrap of paper and places it under the the girl's nose. If Jennifer lets the paper drop before her time in the corner is through, she'll have to face another minute or two under the hairbrush.

This story followed a pretty routine pattern of child spanking stories with a rather, slightly unpleasant, voyeuristic suggestion of repeating the spanking in front of the woman's husband. It went through all the traditional stages of spanking a teenage girl with a hairbrush but there was nothing really to lift this story into a 'keeper' bracket. I felt that the sentence and paragraph spacing could have been a bit less cluttered too.

~ Alex Birch

An excellent description of the spanking. Not many authors can write about a spanking and make it seem terribly real and without resorting to "spank, spank, spank, spank, spank." I like the premise as well, the friendly neighbourhood disciplinarian. Very well done.

~ Barrister

I like the concept of this piece. While It's very light on plot, only enough to set the scene, it goes heavy on detail. The spanking scene is long and very descriptive, enjoyably so. I especially liked the addition of a free night of babysitting, making it worth it for Mrs. Norbit...if she wasn't already getting some enjoyment out of the situation.

It fit the category and came in on my counter at exactly 500 words to boot. Altogether a simple, enjoyable story about a teen being spanked.

~ Kessily

There are some delightful little touches here ('five foot thirteen'), and the detail with which the punishment is described can't help but be vivid, but these help to disguise the fact that there isn't much of a story here; it's an image, an idea, a sketch which might become a story if fleshed out with a bit more plotting and characterisation. A good way to do that might be to switch to a first-person point of view. The third-person POV isn't so good at getting into the heads of the characters. How do Jennifer and Mrs. Norbit *feel* about all of this? How did Mrs. Norbit come to play this role? The story is focused so much on the mechanics of the scene that it ignores the interesting stuff in the bigger picture.

~ Pablo