Fanfiction/Parody category.
Total words: about 150.
Total words of Original Poem: 127.

Because I could not stop for Strap--
Strap kindly stopped at me--
The stinging Bite, the warm bright Pain--
Sweet throbbing Misery--

How swiftly came the burning Strokes
Those Licks are so un-fun
What screaming in the Heat and Whine
When smacking each hot Bun--

Upon my ass came loud a Slap
The Strap as it laid on
One blow and then another at
Swift falling of that Arm

Strap smacked my bum, right on my crease--
How Strap kissed my Skin,
The Strap had pounded well it all
At last I thought to speak--

Said I--This is so--Ow! That Thing!
If only that Fit I threw
Had not so quickly attracted you
To me, my ass--Thank You!

How you've made me scream Regret
And now I'm basted red
Perhaps 'tis time to make amends--
Please haul me off to Bed.

+++++++++++

I include the original Dickinson Poem that I've slaughtered for your convenience:

Because I could not stop for Death--
He kindly stopped for me--
The Carriage held but just Ourselves--
And Immortality.

We slowly drove--He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For his Civility--

We passed the School, where Children strove At Recess--
in the Ring--
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain--
We passed the Setting Sun--

Or rather--He passed Us--
The Dews drew quivering and chill--
For only Gossamer, my Gown--
My Tippet--only Tulle--

We paused before a House that seemed
A Swelling of the Ground--
The Roof was scarcely visible--
The Cornice--in the Ground--

Since then--'tis Centuries--and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses' Head
Were toward Eternity--

You have done an excellent job rewriting Dickinson's poem. You matched the rhyme and meter almost perfectly and I knew instantly which poem you were using. I am particularly fond of the phrase "Sweet throbbing Misery" and also "strap smacked my ass, right on my crease". Oh how well I could picture that, in fact I could almost feel it. This was a very fun read, thanks for taking the time and effort to compile it.

Parodies are tough to do and sometimes can seem quite forced -- especially parodies of poems. That isn't a problem with this poem / parody, which even scans well aloud and seems made for the substitution of kink text for Dickinson's original language. There's something about the personifications of "Strap" and "Arm" that is appealing, sounding and feeling very 19th century.

Not only did I enjoy reading this both silently and aloud, I ended up feeing jealous I hadn't written it myself. It's a real delight, especially coming as it does from a new author.

Thanks too for including a copy of the original. It was fun to get to re-read the Dickenson poem with the spanko - revised version.

Excellent!

I actually like that this doesn't feel a need to slavishly subvert each part of the original, but takes its beginning, and its tone, and makes of those something quite new and original - and it's both of those, as well as fun and funny. The narrator's voice is endearingly caught between child and adult, and between eloquent and whining:

"Said I--This is so--Ow! That Thing!"

That subverting of the rather ponderous original with annoyed and indignant pleas is the best thing here, among much that's good.

This poem would be fun to read even if it had nothing to do with the original. The rhyme and meter are good, and the author's playful combination of modern language ("un-fun") and old school phrasing is very nice. I especially enjoyed the Dickensonian use of capital letters. <g>

I've always liked the original poem so much that I was initially put off by the idea of a spanko version, but this one works. And even though the tone of this fanfiction is light, the connection to the original makes it a good fit for this year's Gothic theme.

I have never heard that poem before, the original one I mean. Yet it was a nice poem and the spanking one you wrote was well written. Detailed description was also intertwined. Enjoyed your poem a lot.