London, 1936 (Fanfiction, 454 words)
by Emily

At the knock on her door, the matron looked up from her desk. Strange boy. His knock was always authoritative, like an inspector rapping at the door for a surprise visit, instead of the timid knock of one of her wards who knew he was in trouble.

"You may come in, Thomas."

The slender, dark-haired boy opened the door and walked into her office, his face locked in its perpetual non-expression. Disquieting boy. Impossible to read, impossible to reach. The matron wasn't about to let herself be intimidated by a mere ten-year-old, however.

"What have you been doing with Molly, Thomas?"

The boy stared back at her in silence, unmoved. Almost uninterested.

"She came to me crying and shaking with her hair messed up and her clothes dirty. The only thing she would say was your name, over and over. I'll ask you again, what did you do to her?"

The boy returned her stare, radiating indifference with the merest dash of contempt. Finally, he spoke.

"If you don't know what I've done, you can't punish me for it, can you?" Arms folded over his skinny chest.

"We adults are never as ignorant as we seem, Thomas. Just because we haven't caught you out at it, don't think we don't know how you bully the smaller children. Always the smallest ones and the weakest ones, like Molly. We're watching you, Thomas."

If this speech had any effect on the boy, it wasn't a discernible one. He persisted in his silence. Never defiance, because in order to defy you must first care.

"When I think of your poor mother--"

Suddenly everything about the boy changed. The marble statue became a feral animal, the indifferent mask a snarl of rage. "You know nothing about my mother, you bitch!"

All control gone, he charged the matron, teeth bared and fists clenched.

But she had been an old hand at dealing with unruly children long before he was born. She caught him by one wrist, which she immediately twisted behind his back, then she grabbed his other wrist and pinned him to her. "Thomas Marvolo Riddle, you will stop that this instant," she said into his ear."Pants down, and bend over the desk."

The raging animal was gone as if it had never been. The boy pulled down his pants and bent forward; after all, this was hardly his first time in the matron's office. As the strokes from the cane fell, he held still and made no sound. This woman would never hear him cry out. And someday he would be so powerful that no one would ever hurt him again. Someday, they would all fear him. Someday, he would be the one causing pain.

***

Obviously a Harry Potter fic. I didn't want to put the note at the beginning. -E

Well the writer says 'obviously a Harry Potter' - but not to me having never read a word of Harry Potter in my life.  It didn't spoil the story though and it seemd clear that here was a child in the first phases of developing into some kind of a psychopath.  The lesson here, whether intended by the author or not, seems to be that if you continually hit children as punishment you brutalise them.  Well constructed and held the attention.

Very well done and an enjoyable, if disquieting, read even though I haven't read any of the books on which it is based.  The style seem authentic for sure.

A precise, well-written fanfiction piece.  As a Harry Potter fan, I loved the light touch that gave us enough to clearly identify the character but resisted the temptation to stuff in more allusions than we needed.  I thought the author did an especially good job of bringing the well-known characteristics of Riddle into a child's mind and body. Showing his lightswitch of emotions (on strongly or off completely) was nicely done, entirely plausible, and a good addition to the character development.  Probably my favorite line was the description of his knock--wonderfully telling yet succinct.  Brava!

This was a great piece of Harry Potter fanfiction! It was realistic and fairly true to the characters; maintaining that British school feel to it. There is usually very little fan fiction in the contest so I always look forward to it eagerly, this one did not disappoint. Clearly Tom Riddle was heading down a bad road to begin with, bullying small children and such, but did the fear and pain of the caning make him even worse?

"Someday, they would all fear him. Someday, he would be the one causing pain." This was a very poignant last line. It really caught the attention and made you wonder if things could have been different.

I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return.
- W.H. Auden

Emily's Potter fanfic does an excellent job giving a glimpse into what could have shaped Riddle and changed him into Voldemort.  Was he already headed down the road to cruelty (as his abuse of the story's "Molly" suggests) or was he being twisted by the Matron's abuse?

The author's creative use of ambiguity is excellent.  FanFic isn't easy and this is extremely well done.

A terrific job. It's easy for fan-fiction to lean so heavily on the original that it forgets to tell a compelling story in its own right, but this doesn't make that mistake. The evocation of the setting is efficient and effective, and the dialogue both reveals character and feels completely authentic. Take away the link to the Potter world and it feels like it would lose almost nothing. In fact, perversely, I almost find myself thinking that the purity that the story would gain from removing the reference would be worth it. One would then be free to imagine all manner of futures for the little tyrant.