SSC 2007: Conundrum in Crystal, by the Crimson Kid

Conundrum in Crystal

"CONUNDRUM IN CRYSTAL" by the Crimson Kid [Category: Gothic]
{508 words}

"Twelve bucks?" Stephen Straub sounded incredulous. "That's three weeks' allowance."

"It's an heirloom," Peter King stated. "I'm not giving it away, bucko." As the twelve-year-old started to leave King's Curiosities, the proprietor spoke sharply. "But I'll give you consideration."

The boy paused. "Consideration?"

"You can pay me in installments, two dollars a week," the grizzled man proposed, "And if you want to return it later, I'll buy it back for eight bucks."

"How much later?" Stephen asked.

The sexagenarian shrugged. "Within three months..."

It was a dazzling crystal ball, the youngster noted, even if fairly small with a timeworn wooden base, and it was really costing him only four dollars--he'd return it eventually.

The ball sparkled in moonlight and he was aware that it thrummed almost inaudibly at those times.

A week later Stephen noticed the name inked on the base's underside: TANSY KING. He was a curious child whose mother was vice-president of the local historical society; he used his source.

"She just disappeared?" he demanded.

"Not just Tansy," Christine Straub elaborated, "Her twin sister Susan and...their bedroom."

The boy's brows furrowed. "Their bedroom?"

She nodded. "Like carpenters had expertly removed it--that's the story. On the ground outside where the room wasn't anymore was a..."

"Crystal ball?" Stephen guessed.

The pretty blonde smiled. "Supposedly...Their younger brother had given each girl one on their birthday--he kept it to remember them by. Considered a conundrum, probably just a rural legend."

"When was that, Mom?"

"April 30th, 1892," Christine replied.

Then the dreams began: Two identically cute twelve-year-old brunettes wearing Victorian-type dresses, their backdrop a turn-of-the-century bedroom, calling for rescue. As the weeks progressed his dreams' intensity increased and Stephen became obsessed with the crystal ball, his social activities and academics both being adversely affected by the strange spell seemingly working upon him.

On Walpurgisnacht, April 30th, the twins' images appeared in the crystal ball.

"Tah-Tansy and Su-Susan?" he stammered.

"Please help us," Tansy implored.

"Hu-How?"

Susan answered. "Put both hands on the crystal--"

"Stephen Allen Straub!" His bedroom door banged open and Christine stormed inside, right hand gripping a sturdy wooden hairbrush. "Can you explain your report card, four D's and two F's?"

He blanched. "Ohhhh, Mom..."

"It's that crystal ball! I'll return it tomorrow, but you're going over my lap right now!" Seating herself on her son's bed, she jerked him across her thighs and yanked his pajama bottoms to knee level.

"No, please--Owwww!" His protest was truncated by the brush's flat back cracking dead-center against his right buttcheek--SMACK!!--which was only the beginning of an extended bare-assed spanking that resulted in Stephen shamelessly squirming, kicking and bawling.

On the other side of the crystal conduit, Tansy sighed glumly. "So near and yet so far."

Susan nodded. "Someone always notices our influence before the mystic forces are sufficient for the exchange."

"We got quite close this time." Tansy gazed into her sister's crystal ball, observing Stephen's reddening buttcheeks dancing under the relentlessly swinging punishment brush. "A highly entertaining spectacle, isn't it?"

Susan smirked. "Indeed..."

(The End}

I really enjoyed reading this story. I especially liked the development of the back story. I actually found it to be quite spooky. I think it definitely fits into the Gothic category! Your use of language was quite good and really added to the atmosphere as well. Finally, I especially liked the ending with the two girls observing the spanking in progress.

~ Bailey

This story is a neat little gem with a clever play on words with the characters' names. I kept to the genre's form and substance very well and was, in a way, very believable. The spanking was a nice touch, too.

~ Barrister

I loved the mystery component to this story. It leaves the reader still guessing somewhat, and I think that makes for a good story. I'm still curious as to what happened to the girls in the first place.

The idea of a boy so absorbed in a crystal that his grades suffer is definitely an original one. I'm not sure that it fits the gothic category however. It's mysterious, fanciful, and slightly spooky, but not quite what I think of as Gothic.

I enjoy the dialogue between the characters. That was very well written. I especially liked Tansy's observation at the end.

~ Jess

The author has played on his fetish for pop culture, creating a brief treasure hunt for the literary fan. I love treasure hunts!

However, one has to wonder if he could have made his clues more poignant with a bit of tweaking. For example, the mom, Christine, as a play on King's novel, could have been drawn out if, perhaps, her voice had rumbled like an old engine, or if she had a pair of glasses with a glint of chrome.

The author detailed in a follow up post that the spheres were a play on LOTRs palantir, which could have caught my attention more if he had described the deadly draw on the boy's will using Tolkien's descriptors, like dark swirl of the orb, the all seeing eye. As it is, the crystal balls could have been from anywhere, and my guess would have been on King or Straub's works, as the rest of the name dropping implied.

Overall, I liked the story. I didn't need clues to catch the play on Stephen Straub or Peter King, but I would have liked the tribute to have had a little more detail to guide my guesses. And I thought Uncle Stevie (as King often refers to himself) would have made a creepier pawn shop owner.

~ Kris

cute story. I enjoyed how close they got to achieve their goal. My favorite line was 'so near and yet so far'. I think this story has the potential to be a longer story with more details once the SSC is over.

~ Sampast