SSC2007-06: Motel Room #7 (M/?, spank, strap, sex, edgy) [Picture: grille] [498 words]

This story is fiction and deals with strapping and sex. If such subjects are offensive, uninteresting or if you are a minor (i.e., child) please leave now.

This work is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice.

The author would appreciate your comments -- pro and con, including constructive criticism, and suggestions. E-mail: YLeeCoyote@mail.com

Motel Room #7
by
Y Lee Coyote

The motel was a dump but I was exhausted and the next town was more than an hour away. I brushed my teeth, peed and fell into bed. I was seconds from crashing into a restless sleep when a door slammed and there was a light on the side of the bed. It was coming through the air vent from the next room. A deep male voice was yelling with great fury.

"I've had it up to here!"

"I've told you what would happen if you did not mend your ways."

"Now get those clothes off and lay on the bed."

Then there was another voice. This was higher in pitch -- a woman's or girl's or a youth's pleading.

"Please, I'm sorry but it was an accident."

"Not the belt, please."

"It won't happen again. Ever!"

*WHACK!*

It must have been a belt or a strap hitting the dresser. I sat up. I was alert. The lamp shook from the cut.

"HURRY UP!" snapped the man angrily.

I heard shoes thump against the wall and then drop to the carpet quietly. Should I call the police? There wasn't a phone in the room. The office was closed as the clerk had left after giving me the key.

"HOLD TIGHT! Don't move."

Then another WHACK! and a yell of pain. I was mesmerized. <<One.>> I counted automatically.

Over and over the belt connected with its target. Each time with a loud WHACK followed by a cry of pain.

I kept count. <<Two, Three, ..., Ten, ..., Twenty, ..., Thirty, Thirty-one, Thirty-two. Thirty-three. >> Then the belt stopped.

A new order. "Get me wet unless you want it dry."

Just a few seconds later I heard. "That's it. Suck it good." There was a slight pause. "Get it good and wet."

"On the bed."

"No! On your knees with your hot ass up."

There was a yelp as the brute rammed into some hole. Was it a cunt or an asshole? A girl or a boy?

I could not tell. He was rough and pounded hard for the other kept whining. He was done in just three minutes with a loud yell about coming.

They each used the bathroom for there were two flushes -- one after a big man pissing loudly in the bowl and the other after some painful grunts.

"Get dressed. I want to get home."

A couple of minutes later the light went out and the door slammed. It was quiet. They had left. I had shot without touching myself. I dropped off into sleep. In the morning I continued my trip.

Now, almost four decades later it is my most intense memory. I still wonder if it was a man and woman -- wife or mistress or whore; or man and man -- partner or hustler or twink?

But I still get off on it; fantasying being in Motel Room #7 on November 26, 1969 rather than in Room #5. Sometimes I am the brute and sometimes the woman and sometimes the youth.

The End

© Copyright A.I.L. July 27, 2007

A chilling tale which relied much on punchy terse dialogue, rather than any shaping or moulding of a story - but that dialogue was gripping and quite frightening. The writer has captured well the agonising half knowledge of the unseen listener who can paint only half a picture. What is happening in there? Is she a whore who likes it rough? Is she a young virgin forced against her will? Is it his wife and this is some ritual they play at....or is it not a woman at all.  Then the dilemma about what to do..and what most of us would do. Unsure of our facts we would let it go and savour what elements of the situation turned us on later. Nicely done.  If I haven't put this in the very top flight it's because I recognise the additional skill of writing imaginatively as well as functionally within this format and I tend to add marks for that..but very nice all the same.

This was definitely edgy, and I love the perspective from which it is written. A normal, supposedly, guy listening and wondering if it was abuse or consensual. I found it hot in a squicky voyeuristic kind of way. Abrupt and cruel and stark are the words that came to mind when I read this story. I admit to having fantasies of nonconsensual punishments like this, so it hit a hot button for me.

This was a great use of the provided picture as the center of the story.  The idea of listening, of being on the other side of a motel room wall and hearing what could be abuse or could be fetish.  I liked too that the narrator wasn't completely a "nice" person.  The story fits perfectly into the 500 word limit as well, feeling complete and unforced.  Very well done.

[Since I chose the images, I know that this one was actually taken from an old confessional grill.  Knowing that just made me enjoy the story all the more.]

I loved this story!  It was edgy but in a good way.  It was well-written and the picture matched perfectly.  I loved the idea of this story; It got me to thinking too, who the couple was in the next room.  Hmmmm!

Wow - hot and disturbing!  I like the way the narrator morphs from concerned citizen to voyeur, and the overheard dialogue works for me in a big way.  Excellent use of the photo as a starting point, too.  I'd write more, but I think I want to go back and read the story again. ;)