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| In Loco Parentis David Lena davidlena5 (at) googlemail (dot) com Category: Science Fiction/ Fantasy
"…to sum up: the crash left the entire crew dead and destroyed the antenna for communication with Earth and other vital supplies and equipment. The artificial wombs and personality implanters, which should have begun populating this planet with adult humans mentally equipped to meet the needs of the new colony, are damaged and can only produce adolescents of unknown temperament. "I, the mission computer, have been forced to improvise. "It is now clear to you why food is short, the seriousness of it's misappropriation and the impossibility of creating the required self-control through direct neural stimulation." Mary-5 made no answer. I wondered if the loud-speaker in the dormitory was broken but then the CCTV system detected a slight nod of her head. "Bend over the foot-board of your bed." As she did so the standard issue nightshirt was pulled up exposing her naked buttocks. "Julia-3: perform your task," I prompted. The #3 genetic code was intended for leadership/instructor roles and this experiment was an excellent opportunity for Julia-3's development. The CCTV camera tracked Julia-3 as she rose, retrieved the thin plastic rod I'd had fabricated and walked slowly to stand beside Mary-5. The other girls, standing in a loose group at the entrance to the room, also turned their heads, almost in unison, to follow her movements. Julia-3 raised her arm above her head and flicked the rod sharply down on Mary-5's bottom. Mary-5 gave a yell and a red line appeared on her bottom. Julia-3 repeated the action, producing another cry and a parallel welt. I noted from this precision that her hour of training had been sufficient. After the next stroke Mary-5 suddenly slumped forward, burying her face in the blanket while her arms were suddenly thrust over the side of the bed, her hands griping the metal tubing of the frame very tightly. She also started to weep but I picked up some fragments of speech in between sobs: "…please stop… sorry… won't again…". This was excellent; the desired moral prohibition was in the process of implantation. Less pleasingly Julia-3 had paused and was looking up at the CCTV camera. "Continue," I instructed. At the same time I observed the other girls turn, as a group, to face out of the room. Julia-3 took in a deep breath then, very unexpectedly, closed her eyes. Before I could alert her to the risks, she brought the rod down three more times with a very rapid tempo before simultaneously exhaling and hurling it into a corner, where it landed with a clatter. Her precision and force remained excellent even with a self-imposed handicap; Mary-5 jerked almost convulsively each time a blow landed and the volume of her sobbing increased. Following completion of her task Julia-3 sat down on the bed, took Mary-5's head onto her lap and began stroking her hair and whispering something which was inaudible to the room's microphone. SUMMARY |
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Comments: |
| Mary:
gemcollector2001 (at) yahoo (dot) com What an interesting tale! i loved it, I loved how the computer was giving orders of corporal punishment and "raising" the human teens and yet they were the ones dishing out the canings. it was very interesting This is one of those stories that I would love to see turn into a series of stories just to see what becomes of this colony of teens stuck with no "human adult supervision". The writer did an excellent job of portraying the difference between man and machine in this piece. |
| CK:
CrimsnKid6 (at) aol (dot) com Ah yes, that's one of the limitations of even the most advanced computers (at least in most sci-fi literature), they can't improvise too well given situations that they weren't programmed for, especially when the unexpected change is an abrupt and overwhelming occurrence. This computer in this story did its best but clearly the results were mixed, something it's not fully aware of due to its incomplete knowledge of human behavior. Why did Julia-3 suddenly close her eyes and then complete the caning so quickly? Why did the other girls abruptly stop witnessing the punishment and leave the room? Why did Julia-3 embrace Mary-5 afterward? Not understanding human feelings of sympathy (and possibly empathy too), the computer merely found such behaviors "puzzling" to its sense of logic. The computer believed that Mary-5's frantic promises showed that "the desired moral prohibition was in the process of implantation," whereas an observing human would likely realize that a child being soundly chastised will do pretty much anything she can to make it stop–including promising whatever might have that effect. This story has an interesting premise, it's like a futuristic feminine version of THE LORD OF THE FLIES except that there's a powerful computer attempting to maintain civilized behavior (such as equally sharing food supplies) with limited understanding of human nature. Good luck with that.. |
| Alex:
alexbirch (at) blueyonder (dot) co (dot) uk An interesting little sci-fi tale with echoes of a number of movies. The technical dispensing of the punishment was described very well but I was a bit confused about whether Julia-3 was a cyborg of some sort or simply a programmed human being. The last line seems to suggest the latter. The story itself is well constructed in that dispassionate robotic way of all sci fi plots and for me, herein lies the problem in a way - and its not the fault of the writer. But the writer has managed, even within the linitations imposed by controlled almost robotic behaviour, some very human responses, and a lot of credit goes for that. |
| Hal:
janhaltn (at) gmail (dot) com Thanks to the author this reader could follow and understand the story. Surprising to me, I did not get lost at any part of this story. I normally don't read Sci-Fi stories. Maybe, Dark Angel finally got me to enjoy this type of story. The construction of this story was interesting. The writer really worked hard writing this story and it showed. I really do want to read more stories by this writer. I even enjoyed the strange word pictures that were painted. |