No one was as surprised as I was when I found out that magic is real.  And all the things that you see in Harry Potter are possible.  It is too late for me to get into Hogwarts, so I had to learn magic by trial and error, and by sharing secrets with other magic users.

I was corresponding with a Hedge Wizard by the name of Roscoe.  Either I frightened Roscoe or he became jealous of me, so Roscoe tried to kill me by casting a spell that sent me into an alternate reality.  He had to pick something from a book I had read or a movie I had seen, so he had to try to read my mind.  And he had seen something that said "Great Peril", so that was the alternate reality to which he sent me..  And I would be stuck there for at least 24 hours.

I couldn't remember what I had seen or read that had "Great Peril".  I was wearing a suit of armor and standing in front of a castle.  This worried me.  I knew I would last about two seconds if I got into a fight with a real medieval knight.  Just then I heard voices, so I ducked between a buttress.

"Let me handle them!"  cried one knight.

"Yes, let him handle us!" cried a group of young women.

"No, no, too perilous!" insisted another  knight.  And he dragged the first knight off.

I suddenly knew where I was.  I was at Castle Anthrax.  I quickly ran into the castle before they could close the portcullis.

"Fair Maidens, I am a questing knight seeking the Holy Grail and I have seen it glowing from the tops of your ramparts.", I said to them.

"No, you haven't, it is just a Grail shaped beacon that was lit my twin sister, Zoot," replied Dingo, the leader of the fair young maidens.

"Oh, Zoot is so wicked to raise the hopes of an innocent knight such as myself, and then dash them.  She should be punished."

"Here in Castle Anthrax, there is only one punishment, spanking!  You must spank Zoot and then have your way with her!" Dingo said to me wondering if I was going to run away as Sir Gallahad did.

"Alas, how tragic!" I said. "It is a terrible thing, but someone has got to do it. So it might as well be me."

"How do we know you are really going to punish Zoot?" asked a still suspicious Dingo.

"The only way I could prove it is to give you a demonstration."

"Very well, demonstrate on us all, then you may punish Zoot!"

Soon  Dingo was over my knee, her skirts high above her waist, her beautiful bottom bare and turning red as I spanked her.  And there was a long row of pretty maidens waiting their turn.  It was then I realized that this exertion actually might kill me, but it would be worth it.