Twenty-eight haiku
Have been written--Now we have
To decide which we like best.
So many choices--
We need more than just First Place!
Let's see who's "Special"!
- Barrister!
Buttocks, hot, red, slick
heaving, clenching, yawning
cruel pain, ecstasyIn any spanking party, there has to be that brave someone who makes the ignoble sacrifice of being the first to pull down their pants In our Spanku Fest, that person was Barrister, who was not only the first of our little community to step up and submit, but the very first word he used was one of our favorites: Buttocks.
And so we Name you Special, and award you The First to Be Bare Award! Thanks, B, for taking the first brave swing!
- sarah nada
Mixed Signals
Come here, go away
She loves and hates to be spank'd
No, no, no, oh... yesSarah Nada managed to mix humor while touching on the irony in our personalities, the part of our psyche that needs dread in order to crave.
And so we name her Special with The Recognition of Our Split Personality Award.
- The Award for Most Prolific certainly goes to Kingspan, who proved with NINE submissions that haiku are like potato chips: once you start, you can't stop with just one. My personal favorite was Pants on Fire, followed closely by Pout.
- And now the moment I haven't been waiting for, which was First
Place. By my own rules, that is, tallying votes by how many different
commentators posted in response, I won with:
Barn air thick with dust
Makes pants-down twice as dirty.
Cows watch my spanking.Which just goes to show, when it comes to art, the Deadly Power of the Pun will outweigh Critical Merit hands down. For those who posted in reply, I Name them Special, and grant them The Unhealthy Obsession with Cattle Award.
Much more interesting to me were the two who technically came in Second Place. Which would be ...
- Second Place Number One, Crimson Kid with The Difference:
Bad boy, good boy swats--
Their sting doesn't differ much.
She scolds, she teases.CK's ability to inspire Spite garnered him that one comment that put him over the edge into a clear Second Place, placing him in the fine company of artists such as Mapplethorpe, who proved that controversy is a great marketing tool.
Thus, I Name you Special, and grant you the Exploit the Masses Award. Way to go, CK!
- Before I get to the final Second Place Award, and the author that
I think clearly won our contest, I want to thank all the other
participants in our Lightning Round. There were some memorable lines,
such as Sarah's, "No, no, no, oh . . . yes," and from Doug's The
Strap, which is waiting "To receive natural oils" from alliterative
brats bare butts (there is, really, only one good way to polish a
strap, and that's exactly it). And I won't be forgetting Tom's brats,
who are "Clandestinely having fun"--I'm all about clandestine fun (and
if I'm in a naughty mood needing to be punished, then I'm all about
the getting caught part, too--but only if I want to). Then there's
John Marks' contributions, and the eternal question, "Isn't obedience
better?" To which my powers of Infinite Contrariness, I think, speak
for most of us when they are compelled to answer, "No."
Everyone's efforts certainly kept things lively. I enjoyed them all so much, and the quality and spirit of submissions certainly made things good for me.
- Which brings us to the second Second Place Winner, which I suppose
is technically Third Place, but as far as I'm concerned, is the clear
winner of our Spanku Lightning Round based not only on the quantity of
comments (4), but their quality. Particularly, Mija elicited shiver
from Barrister with The Chair:
A straight-backed chair
waiting with silent menace
makes the girl shiver.And so I Name you Above and Beyond Special, and here is your Technically Not First Place Award, accompanied by, it is my pleasure to grant you the Winner in Spirit Award.
Way to go, Mija!