A Little Hazing
His heart was racing. The blindfold hadn't caused it--the blindfold was the easy part. Nor had the stripping away of his clothes. This was hazing. Certain things were expected. He hadn't survived Hell Week without getting a little thicker skinned about some of them.
Besides, nudity in the sterile halls of the fraternity was far less intimidating than being required to hang his backside out the windows of his frat brother's car to moon the sisterhood across the way. Being naked in front of the same brothers he shared the shower with was nothing to being naked in public.
Still, he moved his hands to cover his sex out of habit.
What gave him pause in the shoving and pushing that guided him, amid the giggling and stern "Shh!" from others, what caused his heart to trip in the first place as he was brought to a halt, bare feet on the cold tile of the hallway, was the half caught whisper of "gauntlet", followed by a grunt as the speaker was elbowed and scolded with, "Quiet!"
Gauntlet. He had heard rumors of this particular ritual. And now, as his mouth went dry behind his mask, he was keenly aware of the closeness and warmth of the air on his bare skin, of the almost muffled quality of the giggles and shushing that should have sounded more sharply against the concrete block walls.
Yes, there were people here. If this was truly a gauntlet, of course they were his frat brothers, standing in silence, lining both sides of the hall.
Even that idea didn't frighten him. Although their hazing could be tough, they weren't going to try to kill him, after all.
If what he had heard was true, then in this gauntlet, it wouldn't be hands reaching for him, grabbing at him, forcing him to struggle against them, to fight through their test to make his way past their final sentries. That was not the style of gauntlet his brotherhood was known for.
No, in this one, they would touch him only in one way: by striking him with a selection of paddles. Tools would be an odd mix of whatever his brethren preferred: leather, wood, bits of plastic smoothed into a proper stingy shape. They would swing at him broadside, trying for loud cracks, whip him with their stinging tips, try to make respectable popping sounds upon the fattier parts of his buttocks and thighs. If he fell--and he had heard about those who had--they would fall upon him ruthlessly and beat him until he either found his feet again or the senior brothers cried enough.
His purpose was to get through them, to race down that double row of bodies with only hands to prevent the stray blow from nicking his tender nether parts.
He licked his lips behind the mask. That was, indeed, the thought that made his heart race. The source of the subtle trembling in his shoulders, that made his mouth dry and his breathing quicken.
The thought of the stings that were coming, the nips at his flesh, the deeper blows that would throb in time with his racing pulse--that was what made his face warm and his heart jump.
He wondered if it would show. If they would look upon him and simply know.
Know that this thing, this running through this most delicious torment, did not frighten him at all.
Mary Richards email
I think the author did an excellent job with the grammatical end of the the story telling and they kept me very interested and were able to bring me into the piece and allow me to "see" the events unfold as they told it.
The only criticism that i could find with it would be that maybe they draw it out a bit too much and it was easy to figure out what the gauntlet was and that he liked it a bit more then what he believed his frat brothers did. However I don't think that this detracted enough from the story to keep me from re-reading it.
I did like that the author described a frat ritual that at least I haven't seen done yet in story form, that helped to make the story even more interesting to read and overall it was an extremely enjoyable experience. :)
sarah nada email
This story is all anticipation, which is a good fit for the short format required here. I like the descriptive language and the slight twist at the end. It's also been a while since I read a fraternity story. Not my kink, but entertaining and well put together.
Pablo email
Restricting the senses is a good way to make sure to focus on the ones that are left, and that gives a great sense of time and place here, and puts us right in the middle of things, behind the same mask. The gradual reveal that this isn't quite feared in the way that might be expected is nicely done, too - the ambiguity here is the story's strength.
I miss a couple of things. Firstly, since this is basically a first-person narrative (to the extent that the main character's inability to see, is also our own), some greater resonance might have been cheaply bought by having it told in first-person. That's also a way to reveal character more easily, since we hear the narrator's voice more clearly. Also, a few hints here and there of a wider world outside of the immediate scene might have provided some extra depth. The main character is an *idea*, here, rather than a real character. What's at stake for him here? Does he know any of the other specific participants? How does he feel about them?