Copyright information: I wrote this story, so kudos to me. But obviously, Mythbusters isn't mine to brag about. What I'm trying to say is: please, please don't sue me. Spank me instead.

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Today, on our Mythbusters Special Edition, our resident Mythbusters are checking out the spanking machine myth. Apparently, people have been trying to build an efficient automated spanking machine for almost 200 years. But are any of them really up to the task of chastising unruly students? Let's find out.

Adam and Jamie hit the internet and find many proposed designs, some of which were supposedly manufactured, tested and sold.

"Frankly, there's no way most of these would work... I mean, look at this one. Robotic arms? If that's all they've got, then this myth is already busted."

"I think you're wrong. We should be looking at the simpler ones, the crank-operated mechanisms only. If anything will work, it's one of them."

"We've selected this Russian design, from about the 19th century. Of all the ones we've seen, it looks the most practical."

"I don't know, guys, I think that's just a doodle that never came to anything."

"Say, Kari, we'll need a volunteer for this myth."

"Yeah, I doubt Buster can help us here."

"Fine, I'll do it. It can't be worse than that Chinese Water Torture myth, right?"

The lads work diligently, and within three hours the machine is assembled. It consists of a crank-driven wheel, upon which several switches are attached. When the handle is turned, the switches rotate with the wheel, straight across the backside of the offender, who is held down on a nearby bench.

"Looks fierce, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. Say, can't we go back to seeing if ducks' quacks echo?"

"Too late, Kari. Over the bench."

Grinning, our intrepid Mythbuster assumes the position. Now the boys decide who's going to spin the wheel first via a rock-paper-scissors showdown. Jamie steps up.

The machine is coaxed into life. The construction is sound; the switches land on the tester's bottom. Jamie starts slowly, so he can keep an eye on the wheel and see what sort of effort is required. He gradually speeds up as his arm gets used to the exercise.

"So, how tiring is this?"

"Quite relaxing, I could keep it up for a while."

"Is it easier than taking a switch to Kari the old-fashioned way?"

"Well, I've never tried, but I imagine so."

"What about you, Kari? Do you feel punished about now?"

"Not really ... With jeans on I'm hardly feeling it."

Rising to the challenge, Jamie puts his back into it, and the switches swish swiftly through the air and land with a noticeably louder impact upon their target. Kari squeaks.

Five minutes later, Adam takes over, determined to outdo Jamie.

"How are you doing now, Kari?"

"Ow! Umm, ok... Hurting a bit, I will ... ow! ... admit."

"Well, hurting a bit isn't good enough, is it? Let's test further."

Ten minutes later, the Mythbusters decide that poor Kari's had enough. They think the machine handled pretty well. What's her verdict? Getting off the bench, clutching her rear, smiling ruefully, Kari just says, "Totally plausible."

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For those of you who don't know what Mythbusters is, here's their wiki page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MythBusters

It may surprise you to know that both the idea of the spanking machine myth and the particular model I described are not fictional. I found this link: http://www.corpun.com/machine.htm

It contains a decent article on the subject, as well as an illustration of the device in question, and several others. And, will the wonders never cease, it can be found by typing 'spanking myth' into Google.