SSC 2009: Beat It, by Mr. Shiny

Note: The Author does not condone parachute pants, any attempt to bring them back into fashion, or his mother's insistence on keeping photographic evidence of the Author wearing such attire while attempting to moonwalk. Damn her and her book of Memories/Blackmail Material.

"Beat It" - Mr. Shiny version

You Naughty Girly, Go Bend Over Right There
Put Your Palms Down on the Bed and Raise Your Derrière
Now Bare Your Pretty Thighs, Hold Your Form and Prepare
I'll Beat it, Just Beat it

My Ultimatums Were Abundantly Clear
Don't Snivel Like a Child and Say You Didn't Hear
I've Had About Enough of Your Attitude, Dear
I'll Beat it, Just Beat it

[Chorus] Just Beat It (Beat It), Beat It (Beat It)
Bottoms Look Their Best When Heated
Color Both Buttocks. Hit All the Spots.
If She Gets Mouthy Give Penalty Swats
Just Beat It (Beat It)
Just Beat It (Beat It)
Just Beat It (Beat It)
Just Beat It (Beat It - Ow!)

We're Almost Done Now But a Bit Still Remains
Now Be a Good Girl and Go Get Daddy's Cane
With Your Butt All Warmed Up I Can Inflict Some Real Pain
I'll Beat It, Just Beat It

You Tried to Laugh and Say You Really Weren't Scared
You Really Changed Your Tune Now That Your Ass is Bared
I'll Spank You When You're Naughty
Which I think is Only Fair
I'll Beat it. But You Wanna Be Bad

[Chorus]
Just Beat It (Beat It), Beat It (Beat It)
Bottoms Look Their Best When Heated
Color Both Buttocks. Hit All the Spots.
If She Gets Mouthy Give Penalty Swats
Just Beat It (Beat It)
Just Beat It (Beat It)
Just Beat It (Beat It)
Just Beat It (Beat It)

[chorus repeats ad infinitum]

Barrister

King George of the SSC taunted me by saying, "if you haven't heard of this little Michael Jackson song, then you must let me know, so I can send this along to someone less culturally deprived." I replied, "I'll have you know I recall this song, and the entire Thriller album, quite well. I was teaching law school that year in another town and I recall watching the video with some of my students and thinking pretty much along the lines of this parody."

That said, this is an excellent parody which keeps the rythym and beat of the original intact quite well. I thorougly enjoyed singing it in my head as I read. I never sing aloud due to many requests over the years not to sing out loud.