Taunting Fate
NOTE~ For this story I used a few of the photos in the pictures the old school house, the old church benches, and the purple shoe this story is also edgey for me because it's a very rough kind of spanking story and I don't get into that kind so its not my type of kink but I am trying to challenge my own writing so again I am excitedly waitin to see what everyone has to say :)
"YOU WILL BE DAMMMNNEDD FOR ALL ETERNITY!" they both jumped and shivered as Pastor Williams yelled out his proclamation all they had done was run through the woods and play by the old schoolhouse so what if Crystal had lost a shoe Jane thought with a pout wanting to put her hands over her ears to drown out the lengthy churchy lecture about hell and damnation for disobeying their parents and teachers for going into that part of the woods alone.
Jane wanted so badly to stick her tongue out at the old man and run away from him but the last time she had done that she was only eight and she still remembers the spanking she had gotten for doing it.
"Both of you strip and prepare yourselves for correction!" Pastor Williams barked his order at the two girls as he unbuckled his belt and removed it from the loops on his pants. "I am going to whip the two of you well into next Sunday!" The cantankerous old man smiled evilly as he watched the two young women remove their summer dresses and bend over the old wooden benches.
He slowly approached and placed his thick leather belt against Crystal's plump round bottom, "Do not stand or put your hands back or I will tie them to keep them out of my way!" The belt left her bottom and landed against it with a crashing lash that made her scream out in pain as a red welt appeared in its place.
Jane grabbed her friends hand to keep it from protecting her bottom and held on tightly as she witnessed the pastor lay his belt on hard and fast. The older man breathing heavily as his strokes landed he would wait long enough to see the welt bloom fully and then land another directly next to or at times across the one above it.
While Crystal screamed and tears and snot ran down her pretty face onto the floor below her, Jane kept a good hold of her hands to keep her from gaining anything extra from the man with all the power in this small summer town their parents brought them to.
"You into the corner with you while I deal with your friend here." Pastor Williams sneered at a hysterical Crystal who sniveled and ran to the corner her bottom on fire.
"Now it's your turn." He reached out and grabbed a hold of Jane's hair by the fistful and pulled her close to him, his hot breath on her neck and his eyes on her breasts. "I have been waiting for this chance for years you little brat. You might be a big girl now. But you are still a sniveling brat in my eyes and I am going to see to it that you pay for all those sins that you have never paid for!" throwing Jane towards the bench again he reached into his pocket and pulled out some rope. "Give me your hands I do not want you to get free from your just deserts!" Jane began to wish she were eight again and she was only going to be getting a spanking from her mother.
C.K. email
It's good that this is only a fantasy of severe childhood discipline, in a RL situation it would be a disturbing narrative of a lecherous old man using his authority to improperly punish two girls in a highly sexualized manner. (Even postulating that the young ladies will be more effectively chastised on their bare behinds, there's no pragmatic reason for total nudity.)
While the girls have admittedly misbehaved and therefore deserve some discipline for doing so--and in an SSC story that's obviously going to involve spanking--the strapping may be too severe and certainly too humiliating for their rather mild offense. I have no use for people like Pastor Williams who hide behind religion to justify reprehensible behavior; I'd like to see him repaid in kind by his girlish victims, but clearly that's not going to happen in the near future and probably won't ever happen.
Ironically, Jane realizes too late that her younger, eight-year-old impulse, to run away from the pastor and thereby face merely a maternal bottom-warming, was the right one at the time and by logical extension would've been the better choice in her current situation.
To bring up an apparently unmentioned technical question RE the rules, how much latitude is allowed within the 500-word limit? Since this story (535 words) was referred to me without comment on its length by our imperious dictatoress, I'm assuming it's within "acceptable" latitude in that area and I'm evaluating it without any penalty for excessive length.
Kessily email
This story is about 2 girls being spanked by an angry pastor for apparently losing a shoe and playing where they aren't allowed. The ages of the girls being spanked are not mentioned I'm guessing they are pre-teens and while I'd to give the pastor the 'over-reactor of the year' award... I can't say I haven't seen fire and brimstone speeches over small things before but I think the Pastor had a hidden agenda of his own here.
The story is quite a bit over the 500 limit, but fits the category in which it was entered. There weren't many problems with it, but I had a lot of trouble connecting... I think because the author wasn't really connected to the story either. (Also didn't find the title had much connection to the story either but that's a small matter.)
Mija email
I enjoyed reading this story. It has a dark energy to it, probably due to the inclusion of anger and religion (a heady mix). There's plenty of detail and emotion (as well as spanking) packed into a small space here. I found myself caught up in the charcters and wanted to know more about her. That's not easy to do in the space of a short story -- well done.
I would encourage the author to watch out for run-on sentences, only because they make the writing harder to read. But more importantly, as a reader I'd selfishly encourage them to write more. Lots more. :)